Saturday, July 26, 2014

Home Again

We survived our trip to St. Louis, Missouri and back home. It was fun to catch up with old friends and to make new ones. In some ways it does makes me miss the military. For some the environment would be uncomfortable, but for me it was quite comfortable. Some what like going for a reunion. If you have been in the military there is a certain degree of connection period. We understand the sacrifices we each made to keep our freedoms and our fellow country men. 

I have enjoyed being involved with the VFW since my friend Sanford "Sandy" Beshear, past Utah State Commander for Veterans of Foreign Wars. Gave me my first membership. A year later I paid for my life membership. I was not very active at first, but a move to Brigham City, UT changed that. My Aunt was active in the local post and invited me to a post meeting and then I met Norm Nelson, Past State Commander and current Post Commander. I have been active participating in Funerals, Eagle Scout Flag Presentations, and many other events over the past 10 years. This year I have not been as active because we are building multiple entrepreneural ventures and gaining my self-directed education. My reading has focused on becoming an inspiring servant leader. I am very imperfect and admit sometimes I have a touchy trigger. Certain things set me off. I know my kids aren't perfect and I freely admit it. I just wish that honesty was everywhere. I love the kids I have known who are true to their personalities in front of their parents as well as away from their parents. there should be no difference in public versus private behavior. Anyway tangent over. I have learned so much from those around me in the last year it is amazing, more so I have learned so much about myself. Looking back I can see how I have pushed myself to become better than I was. I have learned what I need to correct and improve on.

Listening. generally I am good, but when I get hungry or tired or frustrated because I need to step away from work. I become a little crabby.

Eating this has been an issue for some time, I generally can not eat until later in the morning which can be frustrating when I have to spend the day out and start early. I wake up really nauseated, I am only able to take in liquids-not very filling. Fast Sundays for me are real fun.  I have been doing a modified breakfast for about 8 years. I eat just enough bland food to take the edge off my hunger. because when I am able to I eat.

Exercise. This one is funny, because I truly love health and fitness. It is my chosen profession. I have struggled with it for about 8 years now because of Severe Chronic Fatigue.  I have beat myself up over my lack of exercise for a long time and only recently decided that I do what I can do. I have my weight set, Treadmill and other fitness tools in our living room. Most Women would have a cow if their husbands did this. But I am not just any woman. I wanted it in my face to prick me and tell me use it. Why would I torture myself this way? Because I know there is that hump you get over and exercise is something to look forward to. For many years it was my major Stress release. I have a history of bodybuilding prep, in which I spent most of a year prepping for a competition in which I chose not to compete. I know that getting back on the horse to ride will help me feel better about myself and look at life more positively. I especially love helping and serving others obtain their fitness goals. The human form is a beautiful masterpiece that iron and steel can shape and mold. I am very visual when it comes to human form and I notice beauty (male and female). But let say I notice the heart too. when the heart and the human form combine it can very exciting.

Family time. My daughter found out I can have fun. At home I am so tied up in things that need to be done sometimes I forget to stop and smell the roses. I am changing that. I am making an effort to spend time doing things my kids like. John the youngest is teaching me Minecraft, 15 mins is all I can do. I am learning to listen carefully and notice the signs of an older child struggling with their faith and belief. Not knowing why others behave as they do. He says it makes him doubt. He says all religion sounds the same. My heart aches for him and I pray he will find his way. My daughter is getting to go on her mission for our church for 18 months.

Husband time.  I have always done my best to give most of the time available to my husband. but I do not always succeed it is rather hard when his is half way around the world and wants to chat when I should be sleeping. But I have given my best effort. I am making the effort to give him more time especially working in our businesses. He needs it even more. I do not want him to think that I don;t need him, because that is just not true. I do need him  without his support and encouragement I would not be where I am at now.

Time for my Heavenly Father the most important of all is this relationship. Why? because the closer I get to Him the more things fall into place in my life and it all flows better. With Him all Things are possible.

I'll leave off here for now.