Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Personal Post-26 April 2017

I have been in a bit of daze for the last few months, Ok maybe a little bit longer.

April last year, I lost my Uncle who lived close to us. My kids loved him and his wonderful quirky personality. My Aunt really did miss him. She still does.

In October, she re-married a friend from her college days. He was a widower.

Something I need to explain as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, our goal is to marry in the temple for time and eternity. Both my aunt and the uncle (who passed) were married or sealed in the temple. My aunt's new husband and his wife were married or sealed in the temple also. We believe if one spouse proceeds another in death, and both have lived worthily, they will be together again after. So what does that mean for this new union. This temple marriage was only for time-a companion for this life, because they will return to their eternal companions in the next. When you have been married, you do get used to the companionship.

I am so happy to see my Aunt smile and be happy again.

Then in November Thanksgiving Weekend, we lost one of my husband's sisters.
that is when the fog hit. Just shock and dismay somewhat for the family in general, but for my husband and I peace in the end.

Why peace?

Because I knew she was going on to do her next work. She has not left her son alone.
She is his guardian and she will come instantly, all he has to do is call her name.
He saves her seat at family events, I know she comes. He can still feel her.
He insists on buying her favorite lunchable for lunches at grandmas. She is there for that too.

I know she is learning a new job and she will of great service in the times ahead. My Uncle too, he is in the same position.

In December, I took flannel my mother-in-law gave me from the sister who passed and made the night gown in one of my posts. Plus I completed my first bra also in one of my posts. I finished the dolphins background in my bathroom.

The end of February and the beginning of April. I had ankle stabilization and reconstruction surgeries. That has really had me in a fog. I am currently doing my best to catch all of the little that slipped through the cracks between surgeries and non-coherence due to pain meds in recovery-I left most things to my husband to tend to. I will be in an ankle brace after my stitches are out next week. Then back to the torture chamber (physical therapy), I am looking forward to it. My goal is to be able to run again and walk long distances without pain.

While is this state between and after those surgeries. I figured out my why......

This is copied from my facebook post dated April 12, 2017:

You miss a lot when you are out of it from surgeries. Since the end of a February I have been semi disconnected, partially due to the pain meds. Then just doing my best to catch up with everything, because I was out of it. Then just after conference, I am there again. I still want to sleep most of the time, as the stuff is in my system still. I am doing my best to clear it all.
I apologize if these may have put you in a bind because I needed to do something for you.
But I also figured out my 'why', while I was in the state of disconnectedness or I reconnected with it to be more clear.
When I was finishing my Masters(2005), I had interviewed for Medical school at the U of U. I had been told I needed a year and half of prep work at Weber state. Well my kids came front and center so I shelved the idea. Then I started noticing my husbands health. I knew he needed to come home. Initially this was my 'why', then I was after he comes home. What reason do I have to go forward- he will be home. Then I saw OMU out of Samoa. I thought about what I could do as a doctor. I thought about relieving suffering of others, helping them, being able to bring that to other countries. Then I had a rush of tears flow. I still want to do that. But I do not want student loans. I want pay for it my self ($125,000 (base tuition) for 4+years plus the school state side gets their bit for hosting me). I want to practice medicine on my own terms. I want combine my life experience with that trade and bring some thing better to the world. I have reason to build with doTERRA. I have a goal.
I am going to take a nap now.

Yes, I am looking into medical school and it is the reason I desire to build. I want to give back, to serve, to relieve suffering, cloth the naked, feed the hungry.

There were many other things that happened too.
I think I am going to take some 'me' time and go look in a few stores.

**Plus tomorrow is a special day........ It will be our 26th Anniversary, over half of my life with my husband.

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